The “work,” so to speak, encourages her to introspectively and feelingly explore her body, emotions, and energy body, accept what she finds, giving way
to loving what she finds, then shifting her attention to me and my various
energy and emotional states that encourage her to open even more. It is a dance between the two of us, ready each other's energies, emotions, and openness, and our feeling responses to each other. It is a dance of energies and emotions.
Both heart openings and the opening to her sexuality after
10 years of celibacy, happened spontaneously as part of the process. Such awakenings are necessary to have the
degree of love, surrender, and worship necessary to bring her whole being into
a focused surrender to the divine within her, the Life Force, the experience of
which I have written about elsewhere. She
is well on her way to being able to open others in the same way. She approached me with the idea of releasing
her writings—and she is a very gifted writer—to help others towards a state of
continuous opening, eventually to self-realization.
We have never actually met; all work has been done remotely through teachings, Satsang, relating, and energy sharing. The below were written by her between sessions, spontaneously responding to awakening sensitivities within her. The below are just 3 of perhaps 50 letters, and the vast majority dealt with other topics, but I knew these three would get readers' attention.
We have never actually met; all work has been done remotely through teachings, Satsang, relating, and energy sharing. The below were written by her between sessions, spontaneously responding to awakening sensitivities within her. The below are just 3 of perhaps 50 letters, and the vast majority dealt with other topics, but I knew these three would get readers' attention.
It is a guide to what could be found in you.
Dear Ed,
Right now I am having coffee somewhere alone.
Thinking of you
and wishing you would be here like I am with you sometimes when you are having your coffee.
Whenever there is a lot of emotion inside me, sitting alone in a coffeeshop is the best thing. It sharpens the feeling intensely, I can just completely sink inside, especially when there is sadness like now. The sharpness in feeling cracks me open in total vulnerability and surrender.
Feeling sadness totally is such a wonderfull experience. It makes me feel every part of my body, every energy, every movement in energy and emotion, it makes me totally transparent.
The hurt that is felt in my heart area makes me drop to my knees. My whole body feels alive and I feel so very much grounded in the body, in feeling.
There is the penetrating sensation of sadness, the lightness in my back, a sparkling energy mixed with more heavy pressing and movement around my shoulders, there is intense sexual energy moving constantly changing from warm to light to a feeling of desire, the whole front part of my body is tingling.
I can hardly write, because finding words seems almost impossible, but because you are so part of me and of this experience I wish you to be here with me.
--------------------
---------------------
I woke up today all heavy, all dark; feeling all of life is awful. I had good reason after such a tumultuous weekend which ended with not knowing at all what and how my life’s situation can evolve.
The wonder:
About two hours later everything felt totally different and it stayed like this ever since.
In my body it feels all light.
My whole body feels in subtle, light, tingling, sexual energy. It feels like being in bliss, at least physically. From my toes till the top of my head I feel this subtle, tingling, light, white, sexual energy. Non stop.
Right now I am having coffee somewhere alone.
Thinking of you
and wishing you would be here like I am with you sometimes when you are having your coffee.
Whenever there is a lot of emotion inside me, sitting alone in a coffeeshop is the best thing. It sharpens the feeling intensely, I can just completely sink inside, especially when there is sadness like now. The sharpness in feeling cracks me open in total vulnerability and surrender.
Feeling sadness totally is such a wonderfull experience. It makes me feel every part of my body, every energy, every movement in energy and emotion, it makes me totally transparent.
The hurt that is felt in my heart area makes me drop to my knees. My whole body feels alive and I feel so very much grounded in the body, in feeling.
There is the penetrating sensation of sadness, the lightness in my back, a sparkling energy mixed with more heavy pressing and movement around my shoulders, there is intense sexual energy moving constantly changing from warm to light to a feeling of desire, the whole front part of my body is tingling.
I can hardly write, because finding words seems almost impossible, but because you are so part of me and of this experience I wish you to be here with me.
--------------------
Love and passion have a different energy today. There is such a deep love and graditude when I think of you, that it moves me to tears.
I makes me bow. To you, to the lifeforce, and also to my lifepath.
I makes me bow. To you, to the lifeforce, and also to my lifepath.
Inside my body there is all lightness in energy, even though my pussy feels full of warm, deep, red desire; it merges with the lightness of expanding tingling energy in my heart chest, arms, toes, ass...like one.
Emotionally it feels like deep love and compassion, merged with deep passion that arises all from love, not from lust. The passion is not raw and wild like yesterday, it's very deep and delicate; sensible, refined, elegant. It has more the feeling of tantric lovemaking. Emotionally and energetically it feels like totally merging.
Emotionally it feels like deep love and compassion, merged with deep passion that arises all from love, not from lust. The passion is not raw and wild like yesterday, it's very deep and delicate; sensible, refined, elegant. It has more the feeling of tantric lovemaking. Emotionally and energetically it feels like totally merging.
The longing for you and waiting until you are here have the same change in energy. It doesn't have this wild explosion to it, like yesterday; it's deep, being moved to tears, devotional.
As I am writing you, again my body responds by intensifying the energies and emotions. It means that the tingling is from top to toe, especially my upper back feels all white light tingling, my heart is changing from burning warmth to open white light tingling from moment to moment, my pussy gets more and more into sexual warm desire, my breath feels heavy and deep.
All together it makes me go into a deep awe.
All together it makes me go into a deep awe.
I just want to embrace you with my whole body, without end.
I want to fall down to your feet right now, in total ecstasy while holding your feet. Like holding the feet of God.
I want to fall down to your feet right now, in total ecstasy while holding your feet. Like holding the feet of God.
---------------------
I woke up today all heavy, all dark; feeling all of life is awful. I had good reason after such a tumultuous weekend which ended with not knowing at all what and how my life’s situation can evolve.
The wonder:
About two hours later everything felt totally different and it stayed like this ever since.
In my body it feels all light.
My whole body feels in subtle, light, tingling, sexual energy. It feels like being in bliss, at least physically. From my toes till the top of my head I feel this subtle, tingling, light, white, sexual energy. Non stop.
Around and especially inside my pussy the energy is warmer
and darker and pulling and turning, like being sexually aroused.
Even now, as I am writing this to you, the experience intensifies; not so much sexual in way of desire towards you this time, but the light, the tingling is getting more intense while writing you. It really feels now like entering bliss totally. Without physical boundaries, not feeling where my body ends, there is a field of total light, tingling sexual energy.
Even now, as I am writing this to you, the experience intensifies; not so much sexual in way of desire towards you this time, but the light, the tingling is getting more intense while writing you. It really feels now like entering bliss totally. Without physical boundaries, not feeling where my body ends, there is a field of total light, tingling sexual energy.
Inside my pussy it feels like having orgasm without end.
There is not even strong desire for you in this experience, because it feels like already being merged totally.
Still, I have been counting the hours so far, until you are here.
The fact that whenever I am writing you, experiences intensify, has to do with you. Whenever I just sit alone and focus, it does intensify, but not in a way as when I am writing you.
For the last hours I have been feeling gratitude itself, total openness from the heart. It feels like my eyes and body are physically literally open, big and open. With the energy it feels like continuously movement of opening.
I am now feeling intense full body orgasm including strong heavy breathing. I wish you would be here right now to see it and feel me. My head and toes are both getting totally in light with sharp sensation. ( I am now live reporting)
There is light everywhere now in feeling and I am getting really cold.
I am now having a totally different orgasm: no breath, but with loud screaming. It feels like the most intense orgasm I ever had. It feels like an orgasm while being penetrated. Intense waves from my pussy going through my whole body. There is cold and heat at the same time. This is all happening while I am writing you.
I really want to tell you I love you, right now.
It keeps coming. I am having non stop orgasms of the most intense kind I ever had. Just by writing you Ed.
There is not even strong desire for you in this experience, because it feels like already being merged totally.
Still, I have been counting the hours so far, until you are here.
The fact that whenever I am writing you, experiences intensify, has to do with you. Whenever I just sit alone and focus, it does intensify, but not in a way as when I am writing you.
For the last hours I have been feeling gratitude itself, total openness from the heart. It feels like my eyes and body are physically literally open, big and open. With the energy it feels like continuously movement of opening.
I am now feeling intense full body orgasm including strong heavy breathing. I wish you would be here right now to see it and feel me. My head and toes are both getting totally in light with sharp sensation. ( I am now live reporting)
There is light everywhere now in feeling and I am getting really cold.
I am now having a totally different orgasm: no breath, but with loud screaming. It feels like the most intense orgasm I ever had. It feels like an orgasm while being penetrated. Intense waves from my pussy going through my whole body. There is cold and heat at the same time. This is all happening while I am writing you.
I really want to tell you I love you, right now.
It keeps coming. I am having non stop orgasms of the most intense kind I ever had. Just by writing you Ed.
I have to go..... :(
------------------------------
Unlike yesterday, today I stay in the connection with you
after our conversation. Maybe also because I am not with YYYY in the house, but
I am alone outside in the spring sun.
My heart is burning light and my pussy warm delight. I feel all heart-pussy
energy merging and dancing within. Very strongly, very intensely.
The heart area feels sharp in energy and bright white in colour. My pussy feels more dark and deep in energy and colour.
My back feels light and tingling.
Buy overall it's just heart-pussy energy.
It feels wonderfull!
And it makes me long for you deeply.
I want you
I want you so much right now.
I want to merge with you deeply
As I am writing this, the energy intensifies and my pussy is getting more wet, I can feel.
It makes my body and heart scream for you right now. Like my heart and whole body are both orgasming while sitting in the bus.
I can feel the desire for you in every part of my body, even my fingers.
Lifeforce desiring lifeforce
The heart area feels sharp in energy and bright white in colour. My pussy feels more dark and deep in energy and colour.
My back feels light and tingling.
Buy overall it's just heart-pussy energy.
It feels wonderfull!
And it makes me long for you deeply.
I want you
I want you so much right now.
I want to merge with you deeply
As I am writing this, the energy intensifies and my pussy is getting more wet, I can feel.
It makes my body and heart scream for you right now. Like my heart and whole body are both orgasming while sitting in the bus.
I can feel the desire for you in every part of my body, even my fingers.
Lifeforce desiring lifeforce
-------
Ed,If there would be a way to share some of my writings public, it could be helpful to others. Also to understand you can be flamed without being physically together.
And that, at least within me, the movements and opening goes up and down, opening and closure. Meeting all kinds of emotions and daily situations.
Could you put as a student towards Guru love?
But how to put it without people being offended or go into judgement? Leaving it totally open will bring stories.
-----
Well done!
It makes me smile to find my letters to you like this.
It's perfect!
---- NOTE TO READER:
Please do not focus just on the sex. The larger picture is that this woman is living in a bleak life situation that she considers very contracting and not fulfilling. The process we are working through is to have her become more aware of her Subtle Body, the energy body, also called one's sense of presence, that lives in and around one's physical body. In order to realize herself as the aspect of God I call the Life Force, one has to become extremely familiar with all of the energies in and around the body as well as in the external environment. During this process one's heart naturally opens as do other centers such as the third eye and the sexual complex. Each energy complex has to be developed and brought into balance with the others creating a unified "spirit body."
One of the consequences of becoming continuously open is one becomes continuously happy. One is able to love another by feeling the life force in that other, and reflexively responding to the changes in the life force, emotions, and energies in the other in a kind of dance.
The end goal is to make the person so familiar with their energy body, and develop so much love, and so much surrender to the life force both within themselves and the other, that the life force seems to respond by spontaneously revealing itself to the seeker in all of its splendor and power in an explosive self-realization experience that I talk about many times elsewhere.
But people reading this tend to only look at sexual expressions and miss the overall point of her letters and this entire blog, which is to come into self-realization through a process of feeling introspection of one's sense of presence, and bringing it into balance and focus within a relationship, which is ultimately Life Force loving the Life Force.
The process is a bit like psychotherapy as it is interactive and relational, but it is far more subtle and complex because it involves detecting within one's self subtleties and changes in various energy fields, as well as in a wide range of emotions, and noting how emotions morph into energies and vice versa.
On the next level you have to articulate both the energies, emotions, openings and contractions as well as to read them in the other person. The energy, body, and emotional "fields" continuously change and continuously interact with the other's fields in a complex dance. It is an amazing experience when you can detect and play with not only your energy fields, but also another's.
This woman is so good at reading, expressing, and detecting changes both in her fields and in those of others, that she is virtually a telepath.
It's perfect!
---- NOTE TO READER:
Please do not focus just on the sex. The larger picture is that this woman is living in a bleak life situation that she considers very contracting and not fulfilling. The process we are working through is to have her become more aware of her Subtle Body, the energy body, also called one's sense of presence, that lives in and around one's physical body. In order to realize herself as the aspect of God I call the Life Force, one has to become extremely familiar with all of the energies in and around the body as well as in the external environment. During this process one's heart naturally opens as do other centers such as the third eye and the sexual complex. Each energy complex has to be developed and brought into balance with the others creating a unified "spirit body."
One of the consequences of becoming continuously open is one becomes continuously happy. One is able to love another by feeling the life force in that other, and reflexively responding to the changes in the life force, emotions, and energies in the other in a kind of dance.
The end goal is to make the person so familiar with their energy body, and develop so much love, and so much surrender to the life force both within themselves and the other, that the life force seems to respond by spontaneously revealing itself to the seeker in all of its splendor and power in an explosive self-realization experience that I talk about many times elsewhere.
But people reading this tend to only look at sexual expressions and miss the overall point of her letters and this entire blog, which is to come into self-realization through a process of feeling introspection of one's sense of presence, and bringing it into balance and focus within a relationship, which is ultimately Life Force loving the Life Force.
The process is a bit like psychotherapy as it is interactive and relational, but it is far more subtle and complex because it involves detecting within one's self subtleties and changes in various energy fields, as well as in a wide range of emotions, and noting how emotions morph into energies and vice versa.
On the next level you have to articulate both the energies, emotions, openings and contractions as well as to read them in the other person. The energy, body, and emotional "fields" continuously change and continuously interact with the other's fields in a complex dance. It is an amazing experience when you can detect and play with not only your energy fields, but also another's.
This woman is so good at reading, expressing, and detecting changes both in her fields and in those of others, that she is virtually a telepath.
Sounds very intense,
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