You know, I get called a drama queen a lot.  But when I confront these “truth sayers,” I almost universally witness them themselves falling apart in their way of expressing anger, hatred, hurt, and fear.  They become tongue-tied in their deepening fury.

So, my real mission is not making gurus, but in creating drama queens be destroying that thin barrier between feeling and expression that separates “normals” from drama queens.

The Ghost in the Machine

Edward Muzika

I am writing an introduction to a path to enlightenment by means of becoming aware of one’s Subtle Body processes.

The Subtle Body inaccurately can be said to be located within one’s physical body.  This is only true because one first tends to perceive Subtle Body processes by “looking inwards,” by imaginatively turning one’s external visual seeing inwards, at the third eye center located near the middle of the four head , or downwards towards the heart, or even further downwards towards the gut.  

At first almost everyone sees nothing just darkness but with persistence, one begins to be able to visually see within what appears to be the inner darkness of one’s body.  What has happened, is that you are beginning to perceive with an alternative imaginative visual sense, the inner workings of the Subtle Body, especially its energies, how they flow, have direction and intensity.

You might say the essential character of the Subtle Body consist of four components: an inner light called the light of consciousness, which illuminate an inner “space,” or Void, and “energies,” of many different sorts that flow in and around the Subtle Body because these energies are at first perceived to be within the physical body, and lastly, FEELING all these energies, emotions, tactile sensations, in movement, such as walking, or breathing.

Growing acquaintance with the inner body will result in the realization at some point that you are not the physical body, but instead are this feeling body within which feels energies, emotions, experiences thoughts, perceives inner lights, and which feels the body, its tensions and pleasures, but most significantly, you become aware of all the various energy patterns within the Subtle Body that are only loosely associated with the physical body’s nervous complexes.

One could say that when one enters one’s Subtle Body, you are entering into an area of fantasy, of images, sensations, bliss, energies, sexuality, feeling of the physical organs, seeing inner light, witnessing thoughts, feeling moods and emotions.  In a sense the whole process becomes like a very deep and nonverbal psychotherapy because you are experiencing emotions and energies that flow and morph into each other in very complex ways and patterns, but there is nothing “real about any of these processes as they are not manifest objectively in the world for all to see.  They are subjective in similar to fantasy processes, and fantasy processes can be used to awaken one’s awareness To Subtle Body processes.

The Subtle Body and deeper levels are whole new world to a person who was only aware of their minds and their physical bodies, and to a lesser degree of emotions.  A whole new world is opened up of ever-changing space and flows of energies and emotions within the space.  In this space is felt to be far more real than your physical body, because you begin to see and understand the physical body is merely perceived and made real by the Subtle Body and its connection to the physical body.

At this point, what you had called real before, your external world, your home, your spouse, politics, your career can begin to seem unreal in comparison to the aliveness and intense presence of one’s experience of one’s own subtle body.  The external world can begin to feel like a dream in comparison to the new dynamic reality of the inner energetic processes and bliss.  Hence Ramana and Robert Adams saying that the world is like a dream in comparison to the depths you are now plumbing within.

Now, there are many ways to gain entrance to the Subtle Body.  Traditional methods involve breathing exercises called pranayama, combined with visualization’s and focusing one’s attention on various places within the physical body where supposedly Subtle Body Complexes or Chakras are located, and then imagining energies and lights traveling between or within a Chakra.  This is the traditional way, and I might say the most boring way, and a way that is or can be filled with danger for those who do not have an ever present teacher.  Kundalini awakenings can be quite frightening because of the experiences one is subject to, none of which appear to be under one’s own control, therefore inducing fear of insanity her death.

However, I have a very different way.  I get people to be able to experience their Subtle Bodies and their energies by having them open their heart towards me as I open my heart towards them.  It is a Subtle Body process wherein one feels like one’s heart and beingness are opening to another person.  One feels very vulnerable, very open, very accepting, and very loving.  This causes in some cases, a similar spontaneous opening to the person being addressed, whether face-to-face, online, in Satsang, or by some other connection such as a phone or even in an email.

Now, there are two powerful complexes in the Subtle Body that almost automatically respond to such a heart opening: the heart center in the other, and the sexual center in the other, because they are the two most powerful centers normally available to uninitiated people, and their energies can be closely related.  Where there is an opening in one, there is often an opening in the other simultaneously or shortly thereafter.  But neither appear real in the sense of being objective for everyone to see.  These are purely subjective, even though they appear to the person more powerful in real than anything in the external world while they are being experienced.

I want to make one thing very clear.  The work I do can be called a complete fantasy process by using words, images, metaphors, tone of voice, to induce openings in the other person or in many attendees at Satsang.  It is a process remotely similar to hypnosis, but only in the sense that there is a conscious and unconscious process of locking the Subtle Body of two people together in a kind of resonance.  I become a broadcaster, they become the receiver, and by resonance they feel a heart opening and often similarly a sexual opening, which is reflected back to me and I react to it, and often there is a building of these energies in each person.  Other openings come later.  The heart center and the sexual center are only two of the myriad of inner experiences of energies, bliss, openings, the Void, utter silence, and the sense of being alive itself, which Nisargadatta called “I am.”

One’s identity shifts from being a physical body, to being a Subtle Body, then dropping further and identifying oneself as Void or emptiness or nothingness, and lastly, all of these are dropped and one recognizes that he or she is that to which all these appearances appear, all of these bodies appear in awareness, your awareness, and this awareness, like life itself, is a universal phenomena.  Everyone has awareness, everyone is life, and you begin to take on this identification.  But the identification is mediated by exploring one’s Subtle Body, the complexes of energies and bliss, of silence and Void within that so few people know.

I do want to make clear that very strong sexual feelings are set off in this process spontaneously, without any physical sex taking place at all, and often even without a thought of sex.  One’s body begins convulse in full-body orgasms not connected to one’s sexual center.  Orgasms can feel originating in many parts of the body, or the entire body.  But these orgasms are really not attached to sexuality itself in the physical body.  They are kind of earthquakes of energy that show that the body, both the physical and the Subtle, are waking up to subtleties of deepening perception to which the person had been previously unaware.  The strong sexual earthquakes are kind of ways that God entices us as physical beings to become aware of the Subtle Body within.  There, orgasms, especially female orgasms, are more a measure for them of the perfection of that moment of being alive.  Sometimes orgasms feel like that at that moment, they are feeling or perceiving or hearing truth, and the orgasm is experienced within the subtle body as the perception of truth or perfection in the moment.

The physical orgasms one has in physical sex our almost nothing like the spiritual orgasms one has opening the spiritual body, yet the term orgasm, as well as sexual centers, immediately convey or cast the most prurient shadow over this whole process of becoming alive to your deeper self.  Some people will just read this or hear this and want to puke because it sounds dirty in some way or goes against their grain of speaking of spirituality and sexuality in the same paragraph.  Or is one swami put it, some people go bad shit crazy when speaking of spirituality and sex in the same breath.

Opening of the sexual center in the Subtle Body, leads to sharing the intensity of that Subtle Body sexuality to the entirety of the Subtle Body, such that all of the energies within the Subtle Body become coordinated, balanced and one pointed only after sexual energies have been transmuted into total body energy balancing.

Again, the entire methodology is based on fantasy, imaginatively seeing within one’s physical body, feeling openings in various parts of the physical body, which are really openings in one’s Subtle Body, in the heart complex, the sexual complex, the gut complex called Hara by the Japanese.  When the third eye complex opens, above and behind the physical eyes, by imaginatively turning one’s vision inwards, results in the perception of inner light, the light of consciousness, where in the movements of energies are seen as colored flows or streams within and between various complexes in the Subtle Body.

The natural result of the opening of the Subtle Body is the arising of bliss, at first very lightly, and it is felt like low current electricity, but does not have the stark feeling of electric shock, but as far more gentle and somewhat more pleasurable.  At first it is like one’s leg waking up after being asleep, but more pleasurable. 

Over a period of days, weeks or months, the intensity of the bliss grows until sometimes one is so enthralled by the intensity of bliss one cannot even move for fear of destroying the state.  Living in these energies, manipulating them, feeling them to become ever more subtle and refined, and teased apart by one’s own awareness, is the most lovely process of self-exploration imaginable, especially as it is rewarded by an ever increasing opening of deeper and deeper levels of self and leaving behind the mundane world altogether, and sinking into the ecstasies of light, power, bliss within.

Yet, for all intents and purposes, for Westerners, it can be presented as being a fantasy process only, and that no physical contact is necessary and is really not possible.  I know some teachers use touch for Shaktipat, but it is not necessary.  A teacher can radiate his internal field and allow those who can to feel it in him, and by resonance, in their own selves.  Some spontaneously begin to feel orgasms at this time others heart openings, and others feel both.  This is the beginning result of a fantasy process of speaking, tone of voice, words used, images used, metaphors brought out, as well as speaking from an open heart.

One of the most amazing things one discovers through this process is that everything is made out of these energies.  The physical body is not as it seems before the subtle body is open.  We only perceive the physical body within as tactile sensations in the sense data from the physical organs.  Gradually these are seen or understood as being another form of energy that can be transmuted by the explorer/practitioner.

Also, emotions are another form of energies.  You might say that emotions are unstable packages of these energies which when teased open through awareness dissolve into bliss.  For the explorer who has developed one pointedness and persistence, every emotion, positive and negative, when perceived and brought into one’s sense of one’s heart and held there, can be seen to dissolve into the bliss body of the subtle body having been transmuted out of the so-called emotional body and transmuted.  The same can be done for sexual feelings, for emotions such as fear, for depression, for grief and sadness, and even for jealousy.  As such, it becomes a very advanced psychotherapy, but it is not successful unless the practitioner has become one pointed and very subtle in their observing of these emotions and can stabilize and rest in them.  This takes time and practice.

My ultimate aim is to make this method of opening others to the Subtle Body, to energies, etc., is to help them realize that there are so many levels of you, your life, that are more real than your body, and that altogether, we can call them divine, making you an incarnation of God even while occupying and using a human body.  You, as life and consciousness, are divine.  You as an incarnation are able to realize the God within who is you, and who is beyond life and death, and who is you.  Also, you have that divine power to awaken the divinity in others after you recognize it in your own self, and can help others to couple this way, and divine incarnation of god and goddess, Shiva and Shakti and rest in eternal bliss, and you do it in a natural way, through love, devotion, and surrender to your Beloved, and both of you equally awaken to the divine through resonance.

How do I speak to listeners in a way to convince them there is another way to live than out of the mind, that there is a new life within whose nature is both empty silence, or the Void, which are filled with unending and countless flows of energies? 

How do I convince people to look and FEEL within to find that non-substance and spaciousness which is their true form?  How do I convince YOU, that you are not your body, and that the body is only the house you, as life, live in?  How do I convince you that you are life itself, the experience of all things, all energies, all thoughts, all emotions, yet yourself being without form? 

How do I convince you that as life, you are temporary in that body you occupy now, but you are immortal as life itself.  In your present form you are an incarnation of life, the life force.  I give the nameless a name so that I can talk about its processes and qualities, but holding onto this name will cause you further blindness.

YOU are without form, like the wind or the sky, yet you live in countless forms as the landlord of that form.  You are like the wind through the trees making endless comforting sounds, all created within you. What mystery this is.

Most people are dead to any energies inside themselves, so I may start by talking about sex as one minor expression of an infinite number of energies within, and most people deal with sexual energies a lot.  Our whole capitalistic society is based on selling sex or sexualized sunstitutes, such as glamour, celebrities, clothing, perfumes, TV series, movies, all playing with sexual topics. 

I have been in contact with spiritual teachers, six Zen masters, Muktananda, Robert Adams, Jean Dunn, Dhyanyogi, the entire senior staff of the Chogya Zen Buddhist order, but only twice have I heard any speak of sex.  Both times were when students asked Robert if it was spiritually correct to have sex.  Both times Robert said sex was O.K., there was nothing spiritually wrong with it. Twice!  Once I heard another student ask Seung Sahn if he had a girlfriend or wanted one, to which he replied, “Why?”

Sex is one small way to make an introduction to the vastness of the myriad of life’s forces, life’s internal energies that one finds once our sensibilities become more subtle than the physical body.  Entering into these subtle realms begins to reveal to us that we are not our bodies at all, that we are something that lives within that has no form itself, but seems to be constantly changing its non-form expressions.

My friends and fellow teachers ask me to teach in secret the things I teach about awakening the life force through love and surrender, because awakening the energies are also often accompanied by awakening a student’s sexuality, and some people go batshit crazy when such is mentioned.

My reason is this:  I am 76 years old.  These teachings have been kept secret because of taboos for thousands of years, but the life force will not be denied its recognition.  It time is now and my time to spread its message grows shorter.  Therefore, I have to be more bold.  I want to create a family of people that can continue awakening others to the power of their own subtle bodies; perceptions and powers, including experiences of deep bliss and opening all of the subtle bodies’ energy complexes including sexuality.  This is not for my benefit, but for future generations.

NO MORE SECRETS!  NO MOFRE LYING!  EVERYTHING IN THE OPEN!  THE LIFE FORCE HAS NO SECRETS, IT IS OPEN TO EVERYONE.

From a Devotee

I need to have you read the following not from your mind, but from your heart.  Parts are erotic, but look through eros to find her truly expressing her experience of the life force within her and its connection with the life force in me. However, I include the erotic portions that you can feel her passions.  THESE ARE WHAT I TRY TO AWAKEN IN EVERYONE, NOT THE SEXUAL PASSIONS SO MUCH AS PASSION ITSELF, IN ALL ITS COLORS AND FORMS.  I TRY TO AWAKEN LIFE IN THOSE WHO HAVE GROWN DEAD TO THEIR INCARNATED EXISTENCE.  Her's is one person's beginning experiences of the internal purification energetic experiences I call the Life Force, after Nisargadatta's use of that term, and my own experience of the divine bringing life, love, and deep feeling to me.

Not so much to say but I don't want to stop writing again, it doesn't feel right.

Today, my body is so extremely tired, I just feel awful, sick.
I experience a subtle field of energy through my whole body. It's very subtle, cold and light in energy.
Sometimes there is sexual energy.

Emotionally there is a very deep feeling of love for you. Desperate yearning for you, devotional love for you, like yesterday.
I miss you every second, I long for you, I long for you!

I can clearly feel the difference between yearning coming from me as a person, emotionally and yearning that comes from the force within.
I experience a cry inside. There is no sadness or hurt, there is a feeling of an emotional cry deep inside my body. 

Even now, the energy responds to writing you, becoming stronger. The lightness more light, colder and sharper. The sexual energy deeper, darker, intenser.

But all is more subtle.
Because I am so tired???? That's just POV....

----------------

This morning I experienced the lightness and silence that's truely inside me.
Much of what I ve been writing so far is still mind noise.

I experienced the light energy, the silence that is underneath that, even underneath the energies inside.

A silence, lightenergy, and softness without boundaries.
Everything else is just noise and layers on top of that. Feeling a bit like impurities.

Within this field, there is this extremely strong, intense force of sexuality. Warm, dark, moving and with subtle light movements inside this moving energy.

These two sometimes seem separate, and then one moment the sexual energy dissolves into the lightness silence
and sometimes the sexual energy takes over on the foreground.

Other moments these two totally different energies come together as one.

There is a non stop deep desire for you.
So deep, so strong.
To merge with you in this silence energy, which felt this morning as that what I am.
To sit next to you in this silence, in this endless field of white light energy.

One Day Later: 

Oh Dear,

Don't tell me I should sleep. I know I should, but I can't; I am having the most intense experience again.

It's a lot like two days ago, slightly different and maybe even deeper.

Just before I went to bed I suddenly felt our connection in my body.
I am so tired that I cannot exactly remember, already, how it felt, I Just remember that thinking of you my whole body became a strong energy field of strong light. I felt your presence inside my body.

I went to bed straight after and my body began orgasming and shaking like never before. Wild orgasms, whole body orgasms and especially strong inside my vagina. There were no thoughts of sex. There was such an intense desperate yearning for you, like being possessed by your presence. Like being torn apart.

My body was wildly, wildly moving. And this seemed to come from this desperately yearning for you, screaming for your presence. It was no emotion from the personal me.

The shaking and moving in combination with the very intense orgasms felt like having sex, felt inside my vagina like fucking, but there was only longing and love, no sexual fantasy.

I had no control.
My vagina was flowing with juices.
I just experienced how deeply our connection is, inside me.

This Ed, has been one of the most intense experiences so far.
Sorry, I am too tired to write it any more beautifully than this.

LOOK, FROM THE POINT OF VIEW OF THE ABSOLUTE, EVEN THE LIFE FORCE IS NOT TRUTH.  

The life force, the energies, love, and the entirety of all of existence lacks substance, are hollow, are just a show, a play of energies including the life force.

But, attaining that ultimate, the Unborn, the Un-Witnessing Witness, can most easily and quickly be obtained by means of the Subtle Body, Shakti, bliss, aroused sensuality an awareness of one's body, than from going the route of quietism, bland internal meditation, and a non-energetic observation of one’s sense of presence within the void.  

Why not enjoy yourself fully while attaining that knowingness beyond existence through immersion in devotional love and surrender towards another?  What better way to the final truth, then through love of others, devotion to others, worship of others with one’s own body and sense of presence?

This new way is really an old way in disguise, by renaming the Subtle Body investigation as love, surrender, worship, and finding the divine within ourselves and in others by exploding in love and energies? 

Some teachers say they teach within the constraints of their culture, which may or may not be very restrictive, and may or may not allow for loud proclamations of love, desire and devotion, and completely limit those you can select and express. Thus culture and society impose limits on the spiritual search and its expressions.

But you see, culture and society are the enemies of Life.  The absolute, even beyond God, is obtained by becoming gods through love of the other as separate incarnations, including you, an incarnate instantiation of the Life Force.  

Teachers who are so mild-mannered as to limit themselves to culture expressions, and not challenge the culture itself, the civilization itself, are enablers of their cruelty and their repressive contractions of all divine expressions.

Only by becoming public with the power of raw spirituality, can the procrustean beds of rigid morality, repressive culture, and old, old spiritualities, be exploded, allowing this new spirituality of roaring love and energies crack those molds and destroy them.  

Become heroes, not hiding your brilliance behind closed doors.  Shine, shine, shine publicly, in schools, ashram’s, in Satsang’s, in politics, on the stage, in movies, everywhere displayed, the divine spirit of the life force exploding in its devotees.

This is what Osho tried to do and Krishnamurti in his own y anemic way.  You have one life.  Why not live it to the fullest?

SATSANG SUNDAY MARCH 10, AT 11 AM ARIZONA TIME.

KINDLING THE INNER FIRES OF THE ENERGY AND EMOTIONAL BODIES

PLEASE COME 15 MINUTES EARLY AND SIT WITH ME.

LINK: https://zoom.us/j/2950292557?pwd&status=success

These are new times.  The world we knew is falling apart, sinking in corruption, greed, and hiddenness.  Motives and power centers hide and lie.  Spiritual teachers tell stories a thousand years repeated to no avail. 

The closest spiritual movement responsive to our societal change is the public recognition of the divine feminine, magic, and energies.  But this is merely a reactive movement to an age old repression of women, the triumph of intellect in the form of science, over feeling, intuition, and energies of the Magii, warlocks, and a world of spiritual entities.

The way things are and the reactive movements of elevation feminism and magic is still way out of balance, and is a kind of Hegelian dialectic.

But we can transcend that dialectic and the current unbalance by taking the basic spiritual position that each of us is an incarnation of God in the form of life, the lifeforce, a.k.a., sentience in the form of the motivational principle as opposed to the witnessing principle.   Getting rid of the mind and sinking into the body and recognizing that energy being within, which we assuredly are, and thereby allowing us to bring the energy body into a position of dominance over mind and body.

We bring that energy body alive through love for each other, and by being aided by those who are totally self-aware of that energy body, one’s sense of presence as other than the physical body. And, the most powerful aid to awakening that body is for men and women to find that one other that transform them from humans into incarnations.  Men need to worship women and vice versa, because it is unbalanced for one sex to dominate in any area.

The teacher or advanced friend can prepare you for awakening by giving awareness of the lifeforce, but the flowering comes when we find our greatest love, and for the man, that means to fall at the feet of his woman and worship her, love her, surrender his soul to her, and vice versa.  Then there stands a divine couple,  Krishna and Radha, Rama and Sita.

This union produces states a life unknown to the common man.  One is aware of internal and external energies, of life without dominance by mind, a life not filled with distracting interests other than each other and bring the divine to others by providing a living example.  Life is completely different but I cannot describe it to you, because the words for this way of living and feeling do not exist, and if spoken, would be understood only by very few.

I have been speaking this way for years but few ever get to the place they understand.  A lot of ripening has to take place, a lot of purification, so now I try a different tactic and talk about sex.  That interests 95% of all peoples, but unfortunately, they bring their sexual preconceptions and baggage with them when they hear what I speak of it.

But a liberated sexuality is a key ingredient to awakening to the divine within and worshipping your beloved.  Sex is utterly transformed and its energies are used to awaken all the other energy centers within the energy, emotional, and physical bodies.  Women get to experience endless both subtle and also intense orgasms even when alone just thinking of their Beloved, while such spiritual orgasms are more rare among men, they are able to reside in endless pre-orgasmic bliss just thinking of their woman.  Nd, there are many different sorts of orgasm, not just the small subset of those associated with physical sex.  There are orgasms centered in the heart and associated with surrendered love, and whole body intense orgasms set off just by hearing your man speak of his love for you.  It is a wonderous world of sensuality, and not just of orgasming, but the bliss of the most subtle touches by your lover.  The intensity of the love is ever changing, not only in intensity, but its flavor, subtlety, and duration, and not at all associated with physical sex, but still we desire it to give pleasure to our other.

So, come to Satsang, read wearesentience.com, our blog, itisnotreal.blogspot.com, our youtube videos.  But Satsangs are where energies are shared so that you can feel them.

RESPONSES FROM STUDENTS AND FRIENDS

I am a prophet of a new spirituality, one that accepts all of us as incarnations of God in His aspect of the Life Force, in his aspect of sentience, of being alive, of being life.  As such, we are given the opportunity to realize our self as this aspect of God through total worship and devotion of another, who is also an incarnation of love.  This Beloved is our divine consort, our door to the divine.  But the love about which I speak, confuses people lost in conventionality and do not realize that such deep love is not only possible but required to realize God and that in effect, it has nothing to do with us as mere humans unaware of our divine status.  So I asked some of my students and some of my friends whether it is wise to publicly so boldly and baldly present this message to all.  I got several responses from those in respect.

From AS:

Well, I'm ambivalent on this question.    As I indicated in my email, my first response

was to expect that you were going to only invite committed students to use the new blog.

I guess that reflects more of my inclinations than yours.   You termed it semi-private,

I think, on your announcement post.    Obviously, if you don't advertise it much, not many

new people will find their way there, but some will.

Your work with R. doesn't strike me as beginner's material.    I'm not sure why you want to

 have that publicly available.   Do you want to purposely provoke response with it?    It will

probably eventually do that, as more people find the blog.  

I'm reticent to do that, personally.

But that's always been one of your natural teaching elements, you're good at it because you

believe in what you are doing and you're a lot more fearless than I am publicly.

Even though your explication of your process is very good and clear,  you know that any

sexual material will be triggering to some people.    Whatever you say about your intent,

won't change their minds.  

I'm thinking particularly of a few of Rajiv's students who seem to keep tabs on what you're

posting.   Or any of the rather 'buttoned up' Advaita types who are rigid Absolutists or

precept followers.    And of course the angry feminists and cult watchers.

And, as you have previously noted, these are sexually reactive times.   There are always

people who get very indignant and irate at your views on sex, gurus and students.

I would bet that well more than half of my various progressive friends would

consider this to be an  abuse of a student teacher relationship. 

 The ones who would find it very interesting and innovative, and understand your point,

are all misfit artists, musicians, dancers, vagabonds and atheistic humanists

... And old hippies like me.

Why don't you contact Stuart Slovatski for feedback.   He's more out there in the world with his

ecstatic dance raves and yoga and a very erotic memoir.    

Also David Deida has been writing and teaching about divine sex as spiritual relationship and

I

 practice for some years .    His spiritual memoir  "Wild Nights : Passionate Love, Extraordinary

Sex, and how to open to God"  is the story of his erotic and spiritual education with his teacher

in Greece, Mykonos,  A kind of Zorba like student of Gurjieff and the Divine Mother.

It's really raw and powerful and disturbing to the super ego.   At least that's how I remember it.

I found it and was devoured by it 

In fact I read it in Sept 2014  during my dark night of the agonies,

I needed that fierce representation of woman as mystery, erotically powerful and

both,  openly taking and surrendering .

I'm never going to say, don't risk it, Edji !     I love your audacious, irascible nature.   But, I

would ask if putting A.s most intimate writing out in public now is the most skillful choice, to

get your teaching points across ?    Or could it hijack the focus away from it ?    And are you

sure that she is fully clear minded in her choice, not swept up in the fervor,

have children.... ?  

I remember you saying how messy it became with Janet, dealing together with all kinds of

emotions, her family, other student's reactions ... 

 Wasn't it part of the conflict that broke your sangha apart ?

Plus, I doubt that she will remain anonymous for long, it's easy now to guess.

I don't know, I feel ok with it as a part of the process of your more committed students,

but it feels rather like casting pearls before swine to let strangers and perhaps haters

read and misinterpret such intimate writing as obscene.   

Yet, I don't know where the line is in my own mind, and she has given consent to post it.

The question is, is the American spiritual world's super ego ready for you two ?

I

FROM SA

In your generation, your teachings will be not familiar, but you are doing it for future generations; they will understand you--the new era--the message of the feminine future of humanity. That will be the message of Aquarius. you are taking steps compared to the teachers of your age range. making it public is quite necessary because your way to love humanity and teach your genuine experience, that you want everyone to experience the heaven of god's consciousness too. This is your time.  another decade is mine and so on. take critics with heart opening its okey..keep doing what you want to do. and I will give answer to my critics if that allowed to me to do.

1

In all honesty, between you and me, when two people come together with Awakened Kundalini- that is the ingredient..But these people are not so common...your teachings and ways are making advancement , you are gaining confidence that I dont want you to lose, but just make your teachings and examples more specific, more clear, and even then, that too is not for everyone...

It is the truth.. to share more openly about what makes sex , God Union versus just regular sex, .and its all about the quality of the lovers. making it human. Most of people needs to work many, many years for themselves, heart devotion, opening, romance, sexual magic and kundalini and chakras, before they become ready for those teachers, then of course they will not choose any partner to love or easily fall in love with. It will be all like a gift from the divine mother. that lover will be a goddess or god, .advanced and very ready, blessed and genuine, with understanding of all that ways and the purpose of it. It will lead finally to the one relationship,  the one partner and magic will than begin. If all that leads the student, the lover or even the teacher to the perfect matrimony so we are doing it right. one genuine couple everywhere. That is that the final purpose and leads to the great awakenings and incarnations. You are dealing with many students and different energies and I dont know the best way to make it easy for you. making your profile or satsang private maybe will give you the answer you need to know for this period of time.

FROM Sw. C

Dear Ed,

I think you have got me wrong. I was responding to worries that I sensed from you. You were the one who first said something about ‘blowback’. And you were the one who wrote this:

WARNING!  90% of readers of her next letter will see it and judge it as raw spiritual porn, just pure sex.  But I was touched by this letter as no other, because it is not about sex, but about total devoted love and surrender to one person, her Beloved, about desire for merger and oneness. As such it is the highest human expression of devotion and the ecstasy obtained through total surrendered love.  Do not judge this; feel this!

You’re obviously worried that people will see it like that. All I was suggesting is that keeping it private avoids all these difficulties. From my own experience, I can tell you that the whole subject makes people batshit crazy and they feel fully justified in stringing you up on the nearest tree.

If that doesn’t bother you, then you have a very interesting mission indeed. Personally what I think you’re doing is genuine tantra and is fine.

I will always love you,

Swamiji

THEY MUST ALL BE DESTROYED. I COME NOT IN PEACE, BUT WITH A SWORD.

I received today a disappointing communication from a long time swami friend.  He said that what I am teaching should be done secretly as in his tradition of Kashmir shamanism and swami Muktananda.  Otherwise, I would have to label myself as a teacher of tantra, otherwise my teachings would cause great confusion and danger to me and my students.

In other words, if I miss-label the category of teacher I fall into, my teachings will not be grasped, because apparently students follow teachers depending on their teaching label attached, or offer criticisms or salutations based on the consistency whatever I am offering with teachings compared to some wisdom teachers such as Nisargadatta, or some tantra teachers such as swami Etceternanda.

But the teachings I am offering now are purely my own, based on my own experience, based on 50 years of various spiritual practices, and also 30 years of having functioned in the capacity as a psychotherapist under other psychologists’ licenses.  A great deal of my teachings are based on understanding emotions, emotional bondings and relationships. 

In 1995 under my teacher Robert Adams, I realized the nature of the totality of consciousness and that I resided outside totality consciousness, and thus could be called the Absolute, the Witness, or the Unborn.  For 15 years after that I just watched what was going on around me and within me, impassively, fascinated by the void which was the container of all experience.

Then in 2009 I met a woman who loved me deeply and I loved her.  She brought me out of the Void, and allowed me to reincarnate, to re--own my incarnation as a human being, with the body, with an energy body, with the subtle body, with a sense of presence, with emotions, and where everything was always changing within and without.  There is no solidity anymore.  Words really were only caricatures for processes that the meanings did not capture at all.  All teachings were false because there was a truth more subtle than the mind can grasp, and the meaning of words could convey.

What I learned in relationship with this woman, who I loved with an intensity that could be called desperation, who I surrendered my life to, and worshiped, and allowed me to love her and be loved by her with an intensity neither of us had known before.  That love was so great, it could no longer be called human love, can only be called divine.  In loving in that divine fashion, it became so complete that I identified with love itself.  Weeks after I identified with love itself, within my sense of me, as an aspect of God which I call after Nisargadatta, the Love Force, revealed itself to me in an explosion of light, energy, and infinite power, that made me fall to my knees in utter humility of the power of God, feeling his greatness, his power, and his life.  Later I was to reidentify that and recognize that life force within me as the true me, I was the Life Force, I was life itself which inhabited and played through my physical body.

Now my relationship with this woman was extremely intense, as she was an extremely intense person.  We lived thousands of miles apart and we met maybe three or four times physically, and we never had sex.  But we both felt extreme sexual desire, between both of us, for an extended period, and the power of this intense sexual feeling energized every other aspect of felt awareness of being alive.  But even more importantly we really owned the rest of our incarnation including our bodies with all of its health and physical issues, the tactile sensations within the body, the energy body that lives within the body and around the body which I call my sense of Presence.

The world within is entirely different from the external world.  The world within consists of the Void, or an empty container that is experience as space, which contains all experiences from thoughts, to emotions, to sexual feelings, to physical pain, as well as energies throughout the body and various complexes which some people call Chakras.  I do not use that term as it is too narrow and conveys a certain yogic philosophy with the meanings associated that way.  I can only describe them so as not to mix characterize them as” energy complexes” of a kind in of felt experience of inner flowing and static energies, that sometimes flow, some signs are static, and sometimes be so intense that they feel like your body is going to explode.  These energies are known by various terms like prana, Chi, kundalini, Shakti, and probably 100 different terms depending upon the ancient tradition you are referring to. 

But when these energies awaken inside of you, spontaneously, due to your extraordinary love of another person, including vast amounts of sexual energy, as well as feelings of total surrender to your Beloved, so much so that you feel like you are in the presence of God, there is no need for labels like Shakti, kundalini or prana.  Losing those labels allows you to feel the energies and a totally free way without preconception as to how they are to be felt or experienced.  For example, this woman had an enormous number of continuous orgasms that were not only felt in her genitals, but far more often were felt in other areas or energy complexes in her body, such as associated with pure love and heart openings.  Most of the orgasms were heart-oriented, or total systemic, even though sexual images may have happened during the orgasms.

In other words, there are many kinds of orgasms, and the ones associated with physical sex are one class only.  But there are classes of orgasms that have nothing to do with physical touch or physical sensation, that originate purely out of love and surrender towards the other, and these orgasms are different, not grounded in the body, but originating within the subtle body and deeper.  But even using terms like subtle body, is to describe it in terms of an ancient catechism, and ancient way of viewing human experience under some sort of religious or yogic system, which confines and restrains experience to conceptual system.  I have found that these orgasms, often mistakenly associated sexual images and physicality, can be so powerful that they will open up other energy centers throughout the whole subtle body, and associated with other parts of the physical body, like the heart, with a heart opening, and in the middle before head, the third eye, which initiates inner vision of light and colors associated with the energy body within. 

However, any time orgasms and sexuality are mentioned, immediately they are branded as falling within one’s own understanding of sex,  judged based on their past experience, and increasingly with social norms about sex, as opposed to what the yogi means by orgasms as energies or love that pervades the entire body.  When one begins to feel the energies, they begin to transform, becoming both more subtle and powerful at the same time, into a constant feeling of bliss as the whole body is in ecstasy from the dancing energies within.  But these energies, the energy body interacts with the feeling body, with emotions, and in a sense, emotions are just another form of energy, and one can watch the interplay between emotions, such as sadness, anger, fear, grief, and loneliness, with bliss, energies coursing throughout the whole body and between organs, as well as ones felt experience of the other, your Beloved.

In other words, if one feels grief or sadness strongly, and allows that feeling to just be there, and you actually accept it and allow it into your heart of hearts, the most vulnerable and sensitive part of your subtle body, you will find that those emotions transform into a river of bliss, a river of very subtle energies that feel like a gentle breeze or sometimes like pure running water, which bring great happiness and make you feel more powerful because the energy of these emotions have been transformed into the field of energies.  After a while you begin to identify yourself with the energies which comprise your sense of presence which is always within you and around you, and you no longer identify with your physical body.

But your physical body is your only vehicle really, is the host for all the other bodies within you all the other experiences within you from sexuality, heart openings, to all the centers in the subtle body, your mind, to your emotions, to your inner feelings of physical organs within, and your actual sense of being alive, also called the I Am.

But to realize yourself as life itself, ironically, it means you have to first realize yourself as a body, as a physical body, as a human, with all the feelings, energies, and emotions, and relational needs that being a human being entails.  Without knowing yourself as a body, the desires of the body, the physical needs of the body, the relational needs of the human, then you will never know yourself as life as opposed to the insensate body.

That is, you have to completely own yourself as a mortal first.  You have to explore your inner world completely, including all the energies within, all the desires within, one’s own sexuality within, and you have to give up your mind and just be broadly and acutely aware of the sensations of being alive, because if you hang onto your mind, you will be living within a myth superimposed on all your experiences as being an incarnated being.  You will be living in the conventionality imposed by civilization, culture, and whatever spiritual/religious system you adhere to, and all experiences will be judged, and convicted according to that system.  You will have no freedom to experience it as it really is, but you will experience it according to the systems you have incorporated in yourself or been given by her teacher or by your culture.  You will have no freedom at all except to live within that system and hide the parts that do not fit in that system.

Thus conventions and cultures destroy people and robs them of their freedom, and the only way you can get to that freedom is by fully feeling and living your life, and for me, I have found in my own experience, that the only escape to being a real, free human being is to give up all concepts, all systems, all cultural constraints, and to love some one person with all your heart, all your mind, all your spirit and surrender to that person, worship that person, and serve that person. 

Is this not the way of Christianity?  Is it the way to God through loving Jesus because he is an incarnation of God?

But if you take my point of view, that life itself is an aspect of God, and that insofar as we are life within a body, we are incarnated, we are incarnate, we are living within an insensate body as an incarnation of the divine as was Jesus. Thus each man becomes a Jesus and each woman, a Mary. This is the correct understanding.  It is not necessary to have sexual relations, but sexuality must be completely awakened, and this requires mind, emotions, love, surrender, and worship as one would with Jesus.

One must love your Beloved with all your power, all your strength, in complete submission and worship.  When you can do this, when you can become completely committed, completely focused with all your energies bought into balance and oneness with your Beloved, then you will realize yourself as the Life Force, an incarnation of the divine.

To do this you have to feel totally every aspect of your individuality in relationship to your Beloved, including intense sexuality, intense devotion, intense love, intense humility, and surrender.  The sexuality has such power that it awakens the other energy centers within your sense of presence, hastening your awakening to yourself as an aspect of God, as the divine, and recognition of yourself as an incarnation.

Which means you have to have an intense sexual relationship with your Beloved even though it may never be consummated physically.  Awakening the sexual center gives all the other complexes within your sense of presence and expanding energy, it breaks up all contractions within, and you become fully alive, fully consumed by love, and by sexual desire that powers it.

But when I talk about the need to awaken the sexuality, to allow yourself to have continuous multiple orgasms in various areas of your body which is really a sense of presence within your body, and not necessarily associated with the vagina or penis, I am in danger of being condemned unless I identify myself as a Tantric teacher. 

I am not.  I have no tradition.  I speak from my experience using words not captured by any system such as tantra, Kashmir Shaivism, Advaita Vedanta, kundalini sutras.  I am myself alone, speaking of my own experience in ways I would use as would a psychologist, and in entirely new ways that were burst forth from me out of my relationship with my own Beloved.  Ecstatic sex, especially where actual physical relations are not involved, but sex within the subtle bodies of the two people involved, is far more intense than anything your physical body will give you.  There may be a lot of imagination of physical contact which sets off orgasms parts of the body other than the genitals, so the mind is engaged in a visioning process which stimulates activities within the energy body.  The mind, the internal energies, emotions, and tactile sensations all interplay with each other in an internal dance of transformation of one kind of experience into another on a continuously changing basis.

In addition, there is a dance between the two Beloveds, the energy fields between the two, constantly dance and touch each other over a great distance, and emotions are triggered, and emotions also trigger changes in the energy fields, including sexual sensations.

There is no such thing as higher consciousness or lower consciousness.  There are just experiences and interpretations of those experiences, or experiences felt totally without interpretations of what they mean or what category they fall into such as sex or heart, or mind, or energy.  I ask you to give up all understanding and go with the words I am giving you, I want to share my energy with you whatever that is.  I want to share my sense of being, the life force in me as it speaks to you.  It affects the tone of my voice.  It affects its cadence.  It affects and chooses the words I use in order to effect some reaction in you, whether it be to love me, to listen to me, or to ignore me, or to condemn me.  It is all a dance between the incarnations of the divine I call the Life Force after that same term is used by Nisargadatta Maharaj.

So you are not going to grasp my teachings by calling me a tantra teacher or wisdom schoolteacher, or Christian, or yogi, kundalini teacher, I am speaking of my own experience, my own learning, my own journey and how I have passed that so lovingly with several people with our energies constantly into playing each other and all kinds of arrangements, sensations, that can be so easily judged from without by people who still live within conventions, and hold on tightly to their culture, or the religious upbringing weather is Hindu, Christian, or whatever. But they will never know what the experience is really like from our view as incarnations.

And as swami Chetanananda once said to me, “They are angry and judgmental because they do not understand. (meaning they have not had your experience, and they can only understand from their limitations and lack of having known God as you have.)”  I find that even other swamis have no idea what I am talking about because they have not had my experiences. Their experiences have been predetermined by the spiritual tradition they have adopted, and the experiences they have had within that tradition.  Only one who has been through many traditions and actually cast them all off because he sees their limitations, can directly experience their own multiple subjective bodies.  I see the limitations of Japanese and Korean Zen.  I see the limitations of Advaita Vedanta as taught by my own teacher Robert Adams, by Ramana Maharshi, and Nisargadatta, who I consider the greatest of all.  I see the limitations of kundalini teachers and of Kashmir Shaivism because they systematize and categorize everything and leave no room for freedom of experience or expression. 

Thus, I see them all as something to be eventually destroyed.  The various molds the various cultures and religious traditions have to be destroyed so the true seeker can find their freedom rather than traveling between one confinement and another, and true divinity through loving another.

A Man Comes Into His Power

When I focus on you Master- immediately a force field engages my body and subtle body.

That force is like atomic fusion energy. It is so immensely powerful way beyond what I felt in the past. Almost scary at first, like  this me  will be obliterated by this force.

As it enters my subtle body every cell starts giving off light

of its own - a dormant light that is re-activating after eons.  

Its recognizing the Life Force as consisting of its own make up and flares up like an inferno, a Burning Bush out of the bible.

From the deep core of this body it ignites every single part, every cell, every atom

In such bliss and pleasure that

Is indescribable.

The  'me'   part disappears and I become the bliss and pleasure and undulations and swirling colored emotions, the stars and moons, the flowing universe. 

I become the Life Force itself.

S

Edji,  I think some of these letters with some censorship will also help those others in doubt.   

Especially the men, because of some hang ups if they read from other men that power, that life force is infused in their body and souls...all they have to do is try it a few times to be convinced that the energy isn't just sex, it is the Life Force that is breathing into their souls.

Awakening their own Life Force.

A Woman Awakening to Her Full Love and Power--AMENDED

The below letters are from a woman I am working with to realize herself as divine, as the Life Force, which requires a prior awakening to all aspects of her energy body including love, emotions, sexuality, and power, all of which energize her sense of presence, her being life, with unending energetic experiences preceding her realization of the Life Force as a more essential identity than as a woman.

The “work,” so to speak, encourages her to introspectively and feelingly explore her body, emotions, and energy body, accept what she finds, giving way to loving what she finds, then shifting her attention to me and my various energy and emotional states that encourage her to open even more.  It is a dance between the two of us, ready each other's energies, emotions, and openness, and our feeling responses to each other.  It is a dance of energies and emotions.

Both heart openings and the opening to her sexuality after 10 years of celibacy, happened spontaneously as part of the process.  Such awakenings are necessary to have the degree of love, surrender, and worship necessary to bring her whole being into a focused surrender to the divine within her, the Life Force, the experience of which I have written about elsewhere.  She is well on her way to being able to open others in the same way.  She approached me with the idea of releasing her writings—and she is a very gifted writer—to help others towards a state of continuous opening, eventually to self-realization.

We have never actually met; all work has been done remotely through teachings, Satsang, relating, and energy sharing. The below were written by her between sessions, spontaneously responding to awakening sensitivities within her.  The below are just 3 of perhaps 50 letters, and the vast majority dealt with other topics, but I knew these three would get readers' attention.

It is a guide to what could be found in you.

Dear Ed,

Right now I am having coffee somewhere alone. 
Thinking of you
and wishing you would be here like I am with you sometimes when you are having your coffee.
Whenever there is a lot of emotion inside me, sitting alone in a coffeeshop is the best thing. It sharpens the feeling intensely, I can just completely sink inside, especially when there is sadness like now. The sharpness in feeling cracks me open in total vulnerability and surrender.
Feeling sadness totally is such a wonderfull experience. It makes me feel every part of my body, every energy, every movement in energy and emotion, it makes me totally transparent.
The hurt that is felt in my heart area makes me drop to my knees. My whole body feels alive and I feel so very much grounded in the body, in feeling. 
There is the penetrating sensation of sadness, the lightness in my back, a sparkling energy mixed with more heavy pressing and movement around my shoulders, there is intense sexual energy moving constantly changing from warm to light to a feeling of desire, the whole front part of my body is tingling.
I can hardly write, because finding words seems almost impossible, but because you are so part of me and of this experience I wish you to be here with me.

--------------------

Love and passion have a different energy today. There is such a deep love and graditude when I think of you, that it moves me to tears.
I makes me bow. To you, to the lifeforce, and also to my lifepath.

Inside my body there is all lightness in energy, even though my pussy feels full of warm, deep, red desire; it merges with the lightness of expanding tingling energy in my heart chest, arms, toes, ass...like one.
Emotionally it feels like deep love and compassion, merged with deep passion that arises all from love, not from lust. The passion is not raw and wild like yesterday, it's very deep and delicate; sensible, refined, elegant. It has more the feeling of tantric lovemaking. Emotionally and energetically it feels like totally merging.

The longing for you and waiting until you are here have the same change in energy. It doesn't have this wild explosion to it, like yesterday; it's deep, being moved to tears, devotional.

As I am writing you, again my body responds by intensifying the energies and emotions. It means that the tingling is from top to toe, especially my upper back feels all white light tingling, my heart is changing from burning warmth to open white light tingling from moment to moment, my pussy gets more and more into sexual warm desire, my breath feels heavy and deep.
All together it makes me go into a deep awe.

I just want to embrace you with my whole body, without end.
I want to fall down to your feet right now, in total ecstasy while holding your feet. Like holding the feet of God.

---------------------

I woke up today all heavy, all dark; feeling all of life is awful. I had good reason after such a tumultuous weekend which ended with not knowing at all what and how my life’s situation can evolve.

The wonder:
About two hours later everything felt totally different and it stayed like this ever since.
In my body it feels all light.
My whole body feels in subtle, light, tingling, sexual energy. It feels like being in bliss, at least physically. From my toes till the top of my head I feel this subtle, tingling, light, white, sexual energy. Non stop.

Around and especially inside my pussy the energy is warmer and darker and pulling and turning, like being sexually aroused.
Even now, as I am writing this to you, the experience intensifies; not so much sexual in way of desire towards you this time, but the light, the tingling is getting more intense while writing you. It really feels now like entering bliss totally. Without physical boundaries, not feeling where my body ends, there is a field of total light, tingling sexual energy.

Inside my pussy it feels like having orgasm without end.
There is not even strong desire for you in this experience, because it feels like already being merged totally.
Still, I have been counting the hours so far, until you are here.
The fact that whenever I am writing you, experiences intensify, has to do with you. Whenever I just sit alone and focus, it does intensify, but not in a way as when I am writing you.
For the last hours I have been feeling gratitude itself, total openness from the heart. It feels like my eyes and body are physically literally open, big and open. With the energy it feels like continuously movement of opening.
I am now feeling intense full body orgasm including strong heavy breathing. I wish you would be here right now to see it and feel me. My head and toes are both getting totally in light with sharp sensation. ( I am now live reporting)
There is light everywhere now in feeling and I am getting really cold.
I am now having a totally different orgasm: no breath, but with loud screaming. It feels like the most intense orgasm I ever had. It feels like an orgasm while being penetrated. Intense waves from my pussy going through my whole body. There is cold and heat at the same time. This is all happening while I am writing you.
I really want to tell you I love you, right now.
It keeps coming. I am having non stop orgasms of the most intense kind I ever had. Just by writing you Ed.

I have to go..... :(

------------------------------

Unlike yesterday, today I stay in the connection with you after our conversation. Maybe also because I am not with YYYY in the house, but I am alone outside in the spring sun.

My heart is burning light and my pussy warm delight. I feel all heart-pussy energy merging and dancing within. Very strongly, very intensely.
The heart area feels sharp in energy and bright white in colour. My pussy feels more dark and deep in energy and colour.
My back feels light and tingling.
Buy overall it's just heart-pussy energy.
It feels wonderfull!
And it makes me long for you deeply.
I want you
I want you so much right now.
I want to merge with you deeply
As I am writing this, the energy intensifies and my pussy is getting more wet, I can feel.
It makes my body and heart scream for you right now. Like my heart and whole body are both orgasming while sitting in the bus.
I can feel the desire for you in every part of my body, even my fingers.
Lifeforce desiring lifeforce

-------

Ed,

If there would be a way to share some of my writings public, it could be helpful to others. Also to understand you can be flamed without being physically together.
And that, at least within me, the movements and opening goes up and down, opening and closure. Meeting all kinds of emotions and daily situations.
Could you put as a student towards Guru love? 

But how to put it without people being offended or go into judgement? Leaving it totally open will bring stories.
-----

Well done!

It makes me smile to find my letters to you like this.
It's perfect!
---- NOTE TO READER:

Please do not focus just on the sex. The larger picture is that this woman is living in a bleak life situation that she considers very contracting and not fulfilling. The process we are working through is to have her become more aware of her Subtle Body, the energy body, also called one's sense of presence, that lives in and around one's physical body. In order to realize herself as the aspect of God I call the Life Force, one has to become extremely familiar with all of the energies in and around the body as well as in the external environment. During this process one's heart naturally opens as do other centers such as the third eye and the sexual complex. Each energy complex has to be developed and brought into balance with the others creating a unified "spirit body."

One of the consequences of becoming continuously open is one becomes continuously happy. One is able to love another by feeling the life force in that other, and reflexively responding to the changes in the life force, emotions, and energies in the other in a kind of dance.

The end goal is to make the person so familiar with their energy body, and develop so much love, and so much surrender to the life force both within themselves and the other, that the life force seems to respond by spontaneously revealing itself to the seeker in all of its splendor and power in an explosive self-realization experience that I talk about many times elsewhere.

But people reading this tend to only look at sexual expressions and miss the overall point of her letters and this entire blog, which is to come into self-realization through a process of feeling introspection of one's sense of presence, and bringing it into balance and focus within a relationship, which is ultimately Life Force loving the Life Force.

The process is a bit like psychotherapy as it is interactive and relational, but it is far more subtle and complex because it involves detecting within one's self subtleties and changes in various energy fields, as well as in a wide range of emotions, and noting how emotions morph into energies and vice versa.

On the next level you have to articulate both the energies, emotions, openings and contractions as well as to read them in the other person.  The energy, body, and emotional "fields" continuously change and continuously interact with the other's fields in a complex dance.  It is an amazing experience when you can detect and play with not only your energy fields, but also another's.

This woman is so good at reading, expressing, and detecting changes both in her fields and in those of others, that she is virtually a telepath.